Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
