Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
