i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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