I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
50% drunk capacity currently
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Randomize