Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Found your dick twin last night
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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