I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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