there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Randomize
