if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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