I feel like abortions should bother me more
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
