What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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