Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
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