I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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