so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize