How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
We don't watch enough power rangers
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
