Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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