He asked to "fluff my boner.."
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
