currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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