so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
