we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
