College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
