dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize