Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I still have a little drunk in my system
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
