my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
