turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
