That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
