so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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