the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
