theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
