If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
