My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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