We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
