I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to make out with him forever
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I have already put on my inside pants.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Shame is for Republicans.
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