Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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