who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
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A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
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I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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