I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
