I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
