my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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