so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
