She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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