get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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