so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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