every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
how drunk are you?
Several
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
