I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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