Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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