It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
