smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
i need some magic done to my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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