we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
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