And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
