he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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