hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Randomize
