Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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