hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
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