This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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