So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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