Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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