Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
