Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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