its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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