She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
