playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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