a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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