Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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