This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
